Carving time and pumpkins. The scary-ish truth about growing up
Photo by Jasmin Chew on Unsplash
When I was little, I thought that when I grew up, I’d no longer be scared of the things that used to freak me out - the dark, zombies, monsters, scary movies, the space underneath my bed, and so on.
And in a way, that turned out to be true. But what I didn’t see coming was that growing up would unlock a whole new set of fears.
Okay, so I’m no longer afraid of the dark - at least not the dark in my own home. But I’m more scared of scary movies now. In fact, I avoid them altogether for fear that my heart might implode. The older I get, the less I crave that adrenaline because, real life, it turns out, supplies enough of it on its own.
And while I’m no longer scared of zombies… I often feel like one at the end of the day… by the time I manage to get to bed.
While the space under my bed has long been demystified, a new one has opened up - the space inside my mind. And that one’s worse, because you can’t just shine a torch in there to chase away the bad stuff.
“You learn to carve out time to breathe, to laugh, to connect, instead of just carving pumpkins. Because sometimes that’s how you keep the shadows at bay: by bringing light, warmth, and company into the room.”
Many people know what I’m talking about. There are those quiet moments late at night, when the world has gone still and your mind starts to whisper. Thoughts about the future. About ageing parents. About children, unfulfilled plans, health, and purpose. About all the things that remind you that life isn’t as simple as it used to be.
I know, I know - it’s normal. It’s part of growing up. But sometimes I wonder what exactly unlocks these inner demons. Is it adulthood? Parenthood? The simple act of caring about people and things deeply enough to fear losing them?
And as for monsters - adulthood… especially parenthood… has a way of bringing out the monster inside… the mummy monster that feeds on unresolved issues, resentment and exhaustion.
Then there are the ‘monsters’ out there - not the imaginary kind. Those lost their scaring power a long time ago. It’s the real ones: the cruel, selfish people out there, and the terrifying idea that someone might hurt the people I love. It’s the headlines that echo through your mind, the unpredictable nature of life itself.
Scary stuff.
So yes, as a child I was tricked. Many of us were. You don’t get rid of fear as an adult - it just changes shape. It matures with you. But you learn to manage it.
There is a silver lining.
“Fear never really disappears. It just transforms… You learn the power of sharing, of naming what haunts you, and of realising that everyone else is haunted by something, too.”
You can’t shine a flashlight into your mind, but you can lift the darkness by talking about it - with friends, family, loved ones. You learn to carve out time to breathe, to laugh, to connect, instead of just carving pumpkins. Because sometimes that’s how you keep the shadows at bay: by bringing light, warmth, and company into the room.
Fear never really disappears. It just transforms. But the good news is, you transform too. You grow stronger. You learn the power of sharing, of naming what haunts you, and of realising that everyone else is haunted by something, too.
And that’s the ultimate trick of growing up - fear doesn’t vanish. But when you face it, talk about it, and even laugh in its face once in a while, it loses its power.
So maybe adulthood is one long Halloween after all - full of masks, shadows, surprises, and the occasional sweet reward for being brave enough to face it all.
It might be a trick... but it’s also a treat.
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