Tired or burnt out? How to listen to your body to tell the difference.
Photo by Rapha Wilde on Unsplash
There are days when the very first thought I have when I wake up in the morning – is how good it will feel to crawl back into bed at the end of the day. The idea of pushing through another routine-driven day - filled with endless things to do, micro-chores and mental clutter - makes me want to curl up and hide.
And when something unexpected gets thrown into the mix - a flat tyre, an unplanned stop at the grocery store because we’re out of milk - it’s just too much. Now I want to come out of hiding - and scream.
And I know I’m not alone in this because I’ve had many conversations with women who face the exact same feelings. It’s a feeling often topped with a layer of guilt brought on by an annoying inner voice that tells you you don’t have the right to feel this way. Many would recognise the words that this voice whispers: “Get on with it. Why are you complaining? You’ve got it easier than so-and-so. Suck it up. Stop being lazy.”
But what is this feeling, really? Is it tiredness? Is it just life? Or is it burnout – a word we hear thrown around a lot? How can we tell the difference?
‘Tired’ or ‘burnt out’?
Family therapist and HR consultant Olivia Bilocca explains that everyone feels tired at times.
“After a long day or a busy week, it is normal to feel tired. When you rest, you usually feel refreshed and ready to start again. Burnout is very different. It is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress, often related to work. It shows up as constant fatigue, growing cynicism towards work, and a reduced sense of achievement. You feel overwhelmed, detached, and ineffective in what you do,” she says.
At first, Olivia explains, you might think you are just going through a busy patch and that a break will fix it. But with burnout, even after a holiday or a weekend off, you do not truly feel better. Maybe you gain a little energy, but it fades quickly.
“Burnout is not just about the body feeling tired. It is also about the mental load. There is a sense of not keeping up, worrying that you are missing something, feeling constant low-level stress, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, withdrawing socially, becoming irritable, struggling to sleep, and waking up feeling unrefreshed,” Olivia explains.
But how do you know if you have reached a level that needs – that deserves - rest? Is there a benchmark?
Olivia explains that our sense of what is normal has changed over time. Life has become faster, and what felt like a busy day ten years ago might feel light today.
“If your phone showed five per cent battery, you would not expect it to last the rest of the day. You would have charged it long before. The same principle applies to your body.”
-Olivia Bilocca
“If you have taken a break, had a holiday or a weekend off, and still feel drained, it is time to pause and reflect. Rest should not be something you resort to only when you have no choice. By that point, you are already edging towards burnout. Rest needs to be part of your regular cycle, so your body and mind stay balanced rather than swinging between extremes,” she notes.
So if there is any part of you that is pushing you to ignore the need to rest – like those voices telling you to "get on with it" or that "you cannot be tired because others have it harder" - it is important to challenge them, Olivia says.
“Ask yourself what you actually need, both physically and mentally. Not what you want in that moment, which might be to push through and meet the next deadline, but what you can realistically manage. If your phone showed five per cent battery, you would not expect it to last the rest of the day. You would have charged it long before. The same principle applies to your body,” she says.
Choosing to recharge
And when it comes to recharging, Olivia explains that it is not just about what you do. It is about doing it consistently. A single walk will not help if you then work until 1am and start again at 8am.
“If you are feeling signs of burnout, begin adding small, regular habits that help you recover. Prioritise sleep and create a wind-down routine at night. Eat well and sit down for meals instead of eating on the go. Reduce or avoid alcohol. Spend time with friends who support you. Make time for fresh air and natural light. Rest means giving your body and mind space to recover, not just ticking off a self-care task while continuing to push yourself,” she says.
“That is not your body failing. It is your body and mind stepping in to protect you because the earlier signs were not heard.”
She cautions that, if you do not choose to rest, eventually your body will choose it for you. At some point, the load becomes too much.
“One deadline, one problem, or one email will be the last straw. You may find you simply cannot function. Even small tasks may feel overwhelming. That is not your body failing. It is your body and mind stepping in to protect you because the earlier signs were not heard,” she says.
So perhaps that’s it – when it comes to silencing those voices that urge us to ignore the way our body is feeling – it’s about reversing the flow to make our tired mind listen to our body rather than our body listen to your mind. Because if we are feeling drained – we must listen to those signs.
And rest.
About Olivia Bilocca
I am a Systemic Psychotherapist (more commonly known as a Family Therapist), an HR Consultant, and a Workshop Facilitator. I enjoy working at the intersection of business and psychology because that is where the human element truly lives. People bring work into their personal lives, and their personal lives into work. My role is to help both businesses and individuals thrive by creating more human-centric workplaces and supporting people in therapy as they do the inner work.
On a personal note, I’m a wife and a mother. I love reading, travelling, spending time with family and friends, and having deep conversations. I am a beach lover, enjoy music, films, and all kinds of art. I also value time alone, as it helps me recharge. And I absolutely adore my cat Ġorġ.
You can follow Olivia on the Instagram page of Ethical Living or on LinkedIn.
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