What (some) women want for Christmas: Time - to be seen, to slow down

This Christmas – as I tried to survive the usual gift-planning madness – I asked myself: What do women want for Christmas? So I sent out a message to several groups of friends and asked them what their ideal gift would be. I was surprised to find that the women in the chats – who were not connected – gave very similar replies, and to be honest, they pretty much reflected what I would have said.

The answer? Women want time. Time to themselves. Time with others. Time that says: I see you.

As one woman put it: “I’m realising how I’ve changed over the years. Definitely not after objects. Experiences yes… even the most simple of experiences… to me they are the gift of time to self and to others.”

And this should come as no surprise. Research keeps showing us that women still take on the bulk of the caring role and do most household work - and with this comes the constant micro-planning. The tiring juggling. So here is what the women said they would like this Christmas.

The gift of slowing down

December asks women to accelerate when their bodies and souls just want to pause. Meals to cook, gifts to organise, children to shepherd, emotions to hold. Against this backdrop, many women long not for more, but for less.

“Yoga class with meditation,” one mother shared. “We rush so much, it’s nice to land back and pause - breathe, find our calm during this busy period.”

*“It’s about relief. About someone else holding the load, even briefly.”*

Another added that “crafty sessions… I found those as well very therapeutic.” These aren’t luxuries. They’re acts of restoration - permission to slow the nervous system, to return to oneself.

Even something as simple as “take out or cooked meals… not having to cook for a few days” speaks volumes. It’s not about the food. It’s about relief. About someone else holding the load, even briefly.

Experiences over objects

When women talk about meaningful gifts, experiences surface again and again. A holiday - “to make more memories.” Tickets to a concert or performance - “feeds the soul.” A short trip, a dinner out, an intentional moment together.

“If it’s from a husband or partner,” one woman said, “I think quality time would be the ideal gift. It can range from a simple dinner to a short trip. Again, it’s the thought behind it.”

Another shared: “A dinner date or a weekend alone - I want to feel like a woman. I feel tired and rushed all the time. This, if I had to be honest, impacts the way I feel about myself. I want to feel seen.” It’s about wanting to feel like a woman.

That same principle – of quality time - extends beyond partners. It is something that keeps cropping up when ageing parents come into the picture – which happens a lot. “I think it also applies to our parents… just spending time with them.” Time is the currency of care - scarce, precious, and deeply felt.

The gift of being seen

Interestingly, objects don’t disappear from the conversation - but their meaning changes. What matters is not the item itself, but the attention behind it.

“Receiving a gift from your boss at work that is really you means that this person knows you really well and took the time to go out of her way personally to buy you that gift,” one woman reflected. “What is also very meaningful is the card or note that usually comes with that kind of gift.”

It’s the same with personalised scarves, baubles, photo books of memories - “objects that say I know you. I thought of you. I paid attention.”

Even the humble gift has weight when it’s thoughtful. “There are these silly things I never buy for myself somehow, like socks or tights or scarves which I appreciate.” Flowers and plants, too, recur - “they brighten up the home and add positive emotions to a room.”

These are not demands for extravagance. They’re expressions of being considered.

The gift of self-care

One woman named something many feel but rarely articulate: “I also thought it would be nice to receive something self-care related. I find that so many women take care of everyone else before they do for themselves.”

*“It’s not about ticking a box. It’s about thought, presence, and care.”*

Self-care gifts - massages, meaningful vouchers, moments of rest - aren’t indulgent. They’re reminders. That a woman’s wellbeing matters not only when everything else is done, but now.

Notably, women distinguished between generic gestures and intentional ones. “Vouchers for meals or massages etc but not One-For-All… not meaningful.” Again, the message is clear: it’s not about ticking a box. It’s about thought, presence, and care.

What women want

So what do women want for Christmas? They want to be seen - not as providers, organisers, or emotional anchors, but as whole humans - as women - with inner lives. They want time - unhurried, attentive, shared or solitary. They want moments that allow them to slow down, breathe, and remember themselves.

They want something that says: You matter.

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